I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's like heaven, but drunker
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
