We're facebook friends in real life
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
