May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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