I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
