he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
sex in a hospital.. check
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
