he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
