she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
