It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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