Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
