Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
