I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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