I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
