At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
