Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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