o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
