We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
