finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
