Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
