His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
