I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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