Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
