Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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