i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
