Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
