yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
