ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
