and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
