I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
