Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
