Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think people are normalizing furries
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
