Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
