You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
