I wish I could teleport
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
