last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
