his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I could make wine with my vomit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
