when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
