if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
