FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
