I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
