Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
