I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
as a side note pls kill me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
