He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
