you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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