can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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