They should really pass out barf bags in church
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
