Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
