You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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