What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
