you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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