if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
